Why didn't you say anything?
by AbbyGibbs
Summary: Abby has a big secret, she's not sure, she's ready to share, just yet, but Gibbs being Gibbs, he might find out sooner than she might like.


**Why didn't you say anything?**

 **Author:** AbbyGibbs

 **Disclaimers:** Well, I do not own them and that is unfair – they again belong to DPB! Why does he always have to own the best shows and the best characters? Could someone explain that to me? His characters are always suffering too much. So, I have decided to borrow them for a little while, the length of a story, but I promise to give them back though I really wish I could keep them for myself.

 **Classification:** Romance, hurt/comfort, drama

 **Pairing:** Gibbs/Abby

 **Rating: T** (+13)

 **Spoilers:** none

 **Summary:** Abby has a big secret, she's not sure, she's ready to share, just yet, but Gibbs being Gibbs, he might find out sooner than she might like.

 **Author's note: I have no idea whatsoever where this one comes from, I just woke up with it popping in my head. I just hope that I will be able to put in in words, the right way, it's been so long since I've written something in English. Thank you, in advance, for your comprehension. I hope I still have the touch. I won't enter details or procedures here, because I want to story to stay light, I hope this won't be too bad, it feels like I haven't written something good in ages. I did write, but in French.**

 **Warning: This is un-beta'd**

 **Thanks to Mark Harmon, Pauley Perrette, Michael Weatherly, Cote de Pablo, Sean Murray, David McCallum and all the other for giving life to the wonderful characters of NCIS.**

 **Feedbacks: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.**

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Gibbs was worried, Abby was not her usual self, lately. Something seemed to bother her, but she didn't seem ready to talk about it. He couldn't shrug it off himself, he was certain something was up. Abby was different, as he thought about it. Jethro Gibbs realized, it had all started a little after DiNozzo had left, to take care of his daughter, Talia.

There was no doubt, Abby and Tony were close, they had always been like brother and sister and the separation had been difficult, but never would Gibbs have expected it'd have such an impact on her.

He couldn't know for certain though that Tony's departure was the only cause her distress, it broke his heart to see her like that, but he knew he couldn't help her, if he didn't know what caused her distress so, he decided that the best way, he had, to discover what was going on with her, was to ask her, directly. So, with a determined step Gibbs headed down to her lab. When he exited the elevator, it struck him immediately, there was no loud music coming out of her sanctuary as she liked to call her lab. The absence of music was yet another clue telling him, something was wrong with the forensic scientist.

The doors made their usual sound as he walked through them, but no greeting from Abby. Odd.

Though when he walked further in, he found her, eyes glued to one of her PC screens.

"Everything alright, Abbs?" he questioned her, but was met with silence. Rather she hadn't heard him, or she was too concentrated on her task to realize he'd come in.

Gibbs got no reaction to his question. He lifted a brown. This was so unlike her, not to greet him.

"Abby?"

Still no response.

He came to stand behind her then and, slowly placed both his hands on her shoulders. The moment his hands were on her, he felt her tense then gradually relax when she turned her head and realized who it was.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"Obviously. What is going on, Abbs?" He asked her.

"Nothing, I'm fine. What makes you think that something's going on?" she said, feeling nervous.

"Abby… it's me you're talking to, remember? Now, what's going on with you? You haven't really been yourself lately and don't you dare trying to tell me otherwise.

She sighed heavily.

"Alright then, I guess, you're going to figure out anyway. I would advise you to sit down first, though"

Gibbs looked around for a chair and as he potted one, he brought it toward him and sat on it and looked at her expectantly.

"I've had breast cancer…" she told him slowly, purposefully rotating her chair in another direction not to look at him.

Gibbs felt suddenly hill. He made her face him, by rotating the chair she was sitting on so she would face him. The NCIS lab rat was mesmerized by something on her lap apparently because she was refusing to look at him. He reached out, placed his finger under her chin.

"Abbs, look at me." He demanded her.

It took her a moment, but she did eventually, and when she finally did, her green eyes were full of tears.

"I'm so sorry, Gibbs." She told him in a broken voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jethro Gibbs inquired softly.

"I didn't want to bother you or anyone with my troubles, you guys have already enough on your plates and by then we were working on the Morino case."

Gibbs thought for a minute, he couldn't believe Abby Sciuto had kept such a secret from him — from all of them — for so long. Since when wasn't he able to understand what was going with her? He normally would have picked it up the moment something was wrong, they had always been close friends, but no, he hadn't seen it coming. What had happened to them? When did the bond break? When did _this_ happen?

It had already been a year and a half…

"You shouldn't have carried this on your own, Abbs. You should have come to see me."

"And then, what? What was I supposed to say? Hi, Gibbs, I know you're busy, but I just wanted to let you know, I have breast cancer… is that what you wanted me to do, Gibbs?"

"Yes, no… I don't know, but you should have trusted me with it. I would have gone with you to your appointments, would have been there when you needed me, I could have let some other team take over the case. Damn it, Abbs!" He told her, visibly frustrated by the fact, she hadn't told him.

"There is nothing you could have done, Gibbs. Nothing you could have to change the situation I was in, Gibbs! And anyway, I needed to have time to myself to digest the news."

He knew she was right, but Gibbs felt betrayed for some reason. He felt betrayed because she didn't trust him with such news. They were a team, of course, he was her boss, but he was also her friend or at least that's what he thought they were. Since Ziva's death everything had changed, but Gibbs hadn't realized just how much up until now.

Tony had left, to take care of his daughter, he understood that and he even pushed him to do so, in a way, but he hadn't thought it would've been so hard to continue without him. Sure, the team counted new members and all of them were good, but they weren't like any of what Tony and Ziva were like.

The NCIS team leader, suddenly wondered if, she had contacted DiNozzo to tell him about her cancer.

Abby stood up then and walked toward one of the fridges in her lab, and reached for the Caf-Pow, without looking at him. Gibbs' eye fell on the image she was still watching moments ago, and wonder what it represented.

"If you wonder if, I told Tony to tell him about my cancer. The answer is no."

"Ducky? Did you at least tell him what was going on?"

"No, Gibbs, I didn't tell anyone of the team, I couldn't tell you, so, I definitely wasn't going to tell McGee or the others. There is no one I could trust."

Her words felt like stab wound to his heart. It proved once more that they had lost that invisible connection they seemed to have shared for so long, he couldn't believe it had happen. He couldn't believe they had let it happen.

"You could have trusted me, Abbs, I told you once, I'll always be there for you. Why didn't you trust me with it? "Why, Abby?" He demanded, his voice harsher than he wanted it to be.

"Because it's not something you can tell everyone you know. They say, you must talk about it. So, it makes you feel better and realize you're not alone with it. Well, Gibbs, let me tell you something. You are alone, with it because when they tell you that sort of thing, I can assure you: your world crumbles around you. Everything you thought you knew about life vanishes. Suddenly, you are brutally remembered that you are a mortal human being…" Abby had to pause as tears threatened to fall.

Silence fell between them for what feels like an eternity for them both.

Then the NCIS lab tech added: "It doesn't matter anymore, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm cancer free, Gibbs, so there is no need to worry about me. That's what I was looking on the screen when you entered. It's clean, the scan shows no cancer, there is nothing there anymore."

"There's no need to worry about you? There is no need to worry about you? I can't believe my ears, Abbs!" he says, his voice picking up in volume.

"There is no need to yell, I'm not deaf!" Abby answered him, annoyed at his reaction.

Her lips closed around the red straw of her beloved drink, walking back toward the chair she was sitting on a few moments ago. Abby eyed him defiantly to say something more. She didn't expect him to say anything, her eyes widened in surprise as he, did.

"And what exactly, do you think I would have done if you hadn't pulled through?" Gibbs asked her, in a now, angry voice.

"How am I supposed to know that?" She said slightly annoyed.

"Do you think I would have been able to carry on as if you'd never been in my life, in our lives? He corrected himself, rapidly. Well, let me tell _**you**_ something, missy, I wouldn't have been able to, neither of us would have." He said.

"How would I know that? It's not exactly as if you let anyone in, you never do and, definitely not me..." Abby told him in the same tone of voice, he just used moments before.

Two can play that game, she thought to herself.

"Well you can't really blame me, can you? I've lost everyone I care about basically. Don't you think, you tend to develop a fear about letting anyone in then, or do you think it's that easy to deal with? I have had to deal with so many loses that I lost count. If it wasn't for my work, I'd be dead by now, Abby. But there is one thing I wouldn't be able to survive… If I had to lose you, Abby. I'd rather kill myself then, than to have to live a life without you in it. DAMN IT, ABBY! I LOVE YOU, he practically yelled at her.

"Gibbs, I told you already, there is no need to yell, I'm not deaf." She said as her lips let go of the straw in her caffeinated drink as it was finally empty. "And I love you, too."

Jethro Gibbs moved toward her, and crouches in front of her, looking at her. "No, Abbs you don't understand. I love you, yes, but it's more than that…" His voice trailed off for a moment. He then takes a deep inspiration and clarifies: "I'm in love with you."

As his words make it to her brain, he witnesses the moment the truth hits her.

Abby's eyes widen. Her mouth open, but no word comes out. All she can do is gape at him.

Did Gibbs just say, he is in love with me? She wondered, but that's about all she could matter, because she didn't seem to be able to master anything else anymore, she's still holding her Caf-pow in her hand, she couldn't speak, All Abby could do was look at him.

After a moment, Gibbs starts to worry that he'd said something wrong, after all he had just blustered out his feelings for her. It hadn't been his intention at all, he'd said it more out of frustration and because he was mad at her for not telling him she'd had cancer.

With a hand on her knee he implored, "Abby say something."

It took her a couple more moments before she could react, and finally answered him.

"Please tell me, you're not just saying this because I told you I've had cancer?"

"It might have had something to do with it, I'm not going to lie to you, Abbs, but it's only been the trigger for me to be able to say the words to you. The truth is, Abbs, I've been in love with you for a very long time already. I just couldn't bring myself to confess my feelings for you because I was convinced you deserved better, I thought it was best for you if you'd find someone of your age, someone who would understand your music…"

Gibbs was stopped short by her lips. He felt her arms come around his neck, her fingers trailing his short gray hair. His eyes closed after a few second as he let sensation take over. Abby's lips moved over his in perfect sync, they let themselves be swept away into it has rapidly deepened. When they finally separated, they were both breathing heavily, their foreheads touched, their eyes were still closed and a smile on their lips and both trying to regain control over their breathing.

"If I had known this before, I would have find a way to make you kiss me a whole lot sooner…" Gibbs said breaking the silence.

Abby smiled saying: "Nobody ever said that you couldn't try to kiss me sooner."

"You have a point there. Now what do we do?"

"Kiss again, maybe?" She asked tentatively.

"I think that can be arranged." He smiled before pressing his lips against hers in another breathtaking kiss.

THE END for now…

 **Note#2: I'm sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes, grammar isn't my strongest point and I know, I make mistakes, but there is also something else I know: lots of people makes mistakes. English, it is not their mother tongue, I wish it were sometimes, I know, you guys mean well, but some comments can hurt. I at least try, you can't take that away from me.**


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